You're carrying more than anyone knows.

For the wives, mothers, fathers, children and friends who love a man who's struggling.

To the ones who love him,

I know what my addiction did to the people who loved me. I know the nights you didn't sleep, the lies you caught, the hope you got up for and then had to bury again. If that's where you are, I want you to hear this clearly: it is not your fault, and you can't fix him.


But you're not powerless. You can pray. You can set boundaries that protect you and stop protecting the addiction. You can point him toward help. And you can take care of yourself, because you matter too.


I've seen God restore what I thought was gone for good. I'm praying He does it for your family.


Jesse

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Do:

  • Talk when he's sober and calm, not in the middle of a crisis.
  • Speak about what you've seen and how it affects you, not labels or accusations.
  • Set clear boundaries and keep them.
  • Point him to real help: this book, a group, a counselor or a treatment program.
  • Get support for yourself.


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Don't:

  • Cover for him, make excuses or clean up his consequences.
  • Try to argue, shame or threaten him into change.
  • Make empty ultimatums you won't keep.
  • Carry this alone or in secret.


CARE FOR THE CAREGIVER

You need support too. Groups like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and Celebrate Recovery exist for families walking this road. A Christian counselor can help you sort through what's yours to carry and what isn't.

Gift the Book

Sometimes a man won't hear it from you but he'll hear it from someone who's been there. Send him a copy.

Don't give up hope. God isn't finished.

Crisis help: 988 (call or text) or 911 in an emergency